Courtesy:  excellence of manners or social behavior

What with graduations, weddings, parties and showers, ‘Tis the season for writing Thank You notes.

I confess failure to live up to my own aspirations, goals and standards. Therefore I hesitate to prescribe that others do as I say, not as I do.

Yes, I have failed in many instances to acknowledge with a written note countless acts of kindness as well as gifts received or deeds done on my behalf.

Deeds done are a gift. And failure to acknowledge the time and thought or money someone spent on me marks a failing indeed.

Still, despite these failures, writing thank you notes remains high on my list of courtesies.

Etiquette:  prescribed behavior

A mark of civil obedience, etiquette––this tricky word to spell (3 e’s and 3 t’s, if that helps)––comes from the French word meaning “prescribed behavior,” customs or rules governing behavior regarded as correct or acceptable.

Is etiquette still prescribed? Opting out on writing thank you notes, this time-honored show of good manners, corresponds to plenty of other courtesies jettisoned in an age of entitlement. It’s almost as if people feel that they are owed a gift.

Courtesy, Etiquette and Acknowledgement

So much more than thank you, the written note acknowledges the gift’s receipt. Every gift recipient owes the giver of the gift a written thank you even if you are not thankful.

Sometimes when the gift is left on the gift table at a wedding reception, the giver wonders, “Did someone abscond with my gift?” And why put the giver in the awkward position of asking you if their gift was received? Then what will you say, once you wipe the egg off your face?

Then there’s that person who goes to A LOT of trouble to package and mail a gift. He wants to know that gift was received. Does he need to ask you, “Did the P.O. lose the gift I sent?”

Let the Thank You note fit the dime.

You may know that the higher the fiber content, the more expensive the stationery. Personalized, embossed or engraved stationery may impress some people.

However, blank notes are easy to come by. Discounted and discontinued notes abound in stores, or you can make your own notes and even the envelopes from flat pieces of paper. Make no excuses.

It doesn’t need to cost much more than postage to let someone know that a) you received the gift they sent; b) you like the gift they sent; and/or c) you appreciate their thoughtfulness.

Perhaps it has not occurred to you that person you forget to thank might eliminate your name from their list of gift recipients. Naughty or Nice?

And don’t make excuses about your handwriting. Even the worst, cryptic, doctor-writing-a-prescription handwriting can convey thank you.

Without strain, the handwritten note stands out amidst the slush pile of mass-mailings and texts and emails.

Thank you notes say in word and deed “I think enough of you to write you this note.” And it’s still the thought that counts.

If you feel you must purchase a card that says thank you, one that has written sentiments inside, be sure to add your own thoughts. Don’t just sign your name. Add a personal greeting, even if it’s an apology for not writing sooner.

Write what you know.

In other words, you don’t need to make stuff up. Keep notes brief but sincere. If you don’t like or need the gift, acknowledge and focus on the sender’s consideration. “How kind of you to think of me.”

Example of what to write

Write out the day’s date (some people write this at the bottom of their note)

Salutation:  Dear ______,

Text:  What a nice surprise to receive your gift. The ____ is something I can use/wanted/needed. [OR] I will use the money you sent to buy ____.

Wrap up:  Thank you again for thinking of me. I will think of you each time I wear/use/enjoy your gift.

Closing:  Sincerely or Truly or Fondly or Love, whatever honest words convey your feelings for this person

Address and stamp the envelope to mail. Zoom. Off it goes into the wild blue yonder.

Go ahead. Make someone’s day.

Imagine the person who receives your handwritten note reacting as if a florist had just delivered flowers.

Imagine the pleasure that person receives reading and rereading your thoughtful written note.

After all, no one can reread a phone call.