Some People Never Learn

And that’s a shame. A tragedy. A waste.

Some people keep repeating the same mistakes.

I used to think the red-pencil marks on papers judged me. Me as a person. A failing grade amounted to failure.

The red flags waved, “Why didn’t you know the answer to that question?” (Ignore all the questions you got right.)

Education establishes a model where learning takes place in a particular context that includes tests over the material taught. But the real tests of what we learn take place in life beyond the classroom.

A Recent Test

At the first season performance of the Symphony at the Buddy Holly Hall, a woman seated near me, (just two people seated between us), started eating popcorn during Beethoven’s Fifth. The bag crinkled and crackled, disturbing the peace of those around her. She remained oblivious.

The longer this went on, the more agitated I became. I couldn’t believe it. I observed that bag of popcorn had been on the floor near her feet since I first took my seat before either of the two symphonies had begun. She didn’t eat the popcorn during intermission.

I sat there debating whether to act on my impulse to correct her or to endure her bad manners. How rude! Thankfully, before my emotions overran my reason, a man from the row behind us stood and asked her to stop.

In this situation, I thought how at the Myerson where the Dallas symphony plays, the audience was asked to unwrap gum and mints before the performance began. And yet here, among hundreds of people, one woman sits there eating a bag of “Smart Pop” (irony!) like she’s at a movie.

I was so relieved that someone else’s response kept me from reacting to my emotions, emotions that were triggered by this woman’s actions.

Reactions are emotional. Responses are chosen.

One mistake I find myself repeating, a lesson I have yet to actually learn, is feeling responsible for other people’s actions. I have an over-developed sense of responsibility to correct other people’s mistakes, as if somehow, I am now the person with the red pencil.

It wasn’t long though before I found myself in another situation where someone behaved in a way that triggered an emotional reaction, which could have led to an inappropriate response. Where I wanted to correct that person’s behavior. STOP!

A few days later, hindsight let me connect the dots, seeing both situations as if God had given me another test. A test of my maturity. What have I learned about myself? Why do I care what other people do? What they do and say makes them look bad.

If you won’t be a good example, you’ll have to be a terrible warning.

Catherine the Great of Russia

A crack in my armor appeared when I had to ask myself, Is God big enough to handle situations that trouble me? (How about the 2024 Elections?) Or does he expect me to do something?

To imagine what Jesus would do is pure conjecture.

But I can learn and know from the Bible much of what Jesus said and what he did when provoked by the words and actions of others. And yet he never sought to control what other people said or did.

I want that kind of calm Jesus exhibited when interacting with people. Even knowing reasons for my control issues does not give me an exemption. I’m responsible to do the work it takes to develop healthy responses to people and things beyond my control. To keep learning.

To combat the feelings that festered and mushroomed, I reread the “Sermon on the Mount,” talked myself down from “fight or flight” (as neither deals in a healthy way with navigating through triggered emotions). I wrote in my journal, and vented to someone I trust (this helps) before I could admit to myself how these situations revealed the red pencil marks on my own paper.

God uses mistakes and missteps to get my attention, repeatedly teaching me to pay attention to my life. Keep your eyes on your own paper.

A Probing Prayer

“May the words of my mouth and the mediation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer”

Psalm 19:14

When I taught a Sunday School lesson on Psalm 19 onIy a week before these situations “triggered” my reactions to what other people said or did, I had concluded the lesson by stating that the last verse in Psalm 19 teaches me that “I am responsible for my words and my thoughts, not other people’s words and thoughts.”

After that came the tests.

Some people live and learn.

Just think, where the Bible starts, at the beginning of time, first there’s Adam and Eve, then Noah, and next in line comes Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Then from Moses, funneling down through Israel’s history to King David and a few good kings in Judah who reigned before God pulled the plug on the Old Testament, the Bible shows his people making mistakes. Each one flubbed the dub in different ways.

They got the wrong answer. Each failed more than one test. But they kept going till they were gone. Kept learning till they had served God’s good purposes through their lives. 

Thank God the Bible tells the truth. The whole truth. And nothing but the truth.

Because his people are the vehicles for showing and telling His story. Because life is the best teacher.