To write or not to write? That is the question.

Whether tis nobler to overlook acknowledgement of  a gift or to take pen in hand and write the words "Thank You," thus opposing the nature of ingratitude, and by opposing, end the default sense of entitlement.

When gifts received are not acknowledged by the receiver, what’s a mother to do?

Or anyone, for that matter. Anyone who gives time and thought and money to purchase a gift merits proper acknowledgement.

acknowledgement: a thing done or given in recognition of something received

Recipients who fail to make the connection between gifts received and the giver who gave the gift ought to blush.

Ay, there’s the rub.

A Thank You note says more about the person who writes it than the person who gave the gift.

The gift itself says more about the giver.

And a properly expressed Thank You does more to encourage the giver of a gift than the recipient can even imagine.

Bare Necessities

I received this note yesterday. Thank you to this mother for training her son to write thank you notes. Amidst the cultural shift of entitlement, some people attempt to nurture good manners and gratitude.

How can the courtesy of writing a thank you note continue unless modeled and valued? How can a young boy learn that when a person gives to show love, they hope for a loving response?

I remember hearing about a grandmother who wrapped boxes of cereal for Christmas gifts to give to her grandchildren who had taken for granted her gifts. They thought she would continue to give a) what they had asked for, b) what they imagined she could afford to give, or c) money. (Which is what they probably wanted anyway.) Toss aside the gift and maybe Gran will get the message.

But, again, the thoughtfulness behind the gift says more about the giver.

Obligation or Gratitude?

When a person does not like, want, need, or appreciate a gift, what then?

While the words “Thank You” consolidate the message contained in a brief note, whether or not you or I feel thankful for a particular gift, is beside the point. Writing a Thank You note acknowledges the trouble someone else took to give/send a gift at all. Beyond that, if you take time to think about it, no one owes you a gift. NO ONE.

Graduation, Mother’s Day, birthdays, weddings––whatever occasion has been marked and marketed by Hallmark––the gift bestowed is not owed.

That’s why it’s called a PRESENT. No one earns a gift. No one deserves a gift. Otherwise, it’s an obligation and not a gift.

What Gratitude Does for You and Me

Entitlement or rules?

There are no rules for gratitude. Only opportunities to notice how God uses the gifts that come to us for our encouragement.

The apostle Paul in his letter to the Corinthians thanked them for the gift they had sent.

Besides acknowledging how the gift had helped and encouraged him, he said that their gift actually credited to their account, not his.

Gratitude can help us pause long enough to thank God for the people who think enough of us to give gifts. Being grateful reflects back to God–– the ultimate giver––”For God so loved that He gave . . . ”

Giver, gift, receiver, thanks to giver––this cycle reinforces mutual relationship and benefits. The one who gives cannot require thanks, but each thank you conveys appreciation that in turn rewards the giver.

A friend told me that she considered having self-addressed and postage paid postcards printed to include with the gifts she gives. “Do you think that will help?”

During this heightened gift-giving season each year, I wonder is it just me? Am I the only person who questions why so few people bother to write Thank You notes? To acknowledge receipt of a gift?

Thank you, noble Readers, who read to the end. I appreciate your time and thoughtfulness.